So. I chart my cycles. Using the Fertility Awareness Method. Google it if you don't know what that is. Or go to www.ovusoft.com. (I love that site.) And no, its NOT the rhythm method, in case anyone thinks so. We're pretty "careful." I have been working on getting some medical stuff done to figure out why I am so exhausted all the time. (See a previous post somewhere about this.) I always call it "chronic fatigue" because i don't know how else to describe it. Anyway. Because I am SO tired all the time, I have not been thinking about having another child, at LEAST until IF/WHEN we figured out why I'm so tired all.the.time AND had a fix for it. Also, we have no maternity health insurance. (Which means, a pregnancy/birth would not be eligible for health insurance coverage.) If you don't know, pregnancies/births are EX.PEN.SIVE. Even low risk/minimally intervened-with ones. So, all around, not on our "any time remotely soon" agenda.
Anyway. This was a weird charting month for me. I won't go into details here, in case I would gross anyone out. But...if you're a charting nerd like me, and want details, I'll be happy to explain it to you. But lets just say, we took precautions and on top of that, looking at my chart and knowing everything about the month would in no way make you think conception was really "possible." (Except the God factor.)
Hahaha. Ok...so...because of the weird month (sorry, this is so vague and will now become harder to explain from here), I wasn't entirely sure "where I was at" toward the end of my cycle. I knew kind of approximately, but not within a day like I normally do. So I took my waking temps a lot more than I normally do, to try to get a better indicator of when my cycle would be ending. Except...my waking body temperature spiked way higher than I had ever seen it go before. Two mornings in a row. And I wasn't entirely sure where I was at...but I knew I should be wrapping up my cycle....except my temps were freakishly high, I was going Triphasic, my overall length of cycle was longer than it ever had been for the past several months, and I was just sick of guessing when I should start my next cycle. And, Oliver had been acting really clingy and strange about nursing the last few days. Like, terrified, almost, to unlatch and get out of my lap. Bizarre. I know kids often cycle into days or weeks of differing behaviors, but this was one more thing that was just weird to me. (He might be able to sense a change in my milk.)
I really can't explain too well more than that why I decided to test. It was just a weird month, and I wanted to know what was up. Because I was sick of thinking about the "what if." So, when I went to CVS on Saturday for my weekly coupon run, I decided to get a pg. test. Except, the whole time I was in there doing the rest of my shopping, I went back and forth...do I buy one? Do I not buy one? Back. and. forth. It was the last item I picked up.
With Oliver, I used the "Answer" brand test, but this time, I bought a "First Response" test. Why did I change brands? (Like you care.) Well, for one, this one said on the box "test 6 days sooner" whereas the Answer brand said "test 5 days sooner." And because i wanted to QUIT THINKING ABOUT IT, I just wanted to rule out ANY possibility, and get an answer as soon as possible. And, the F.R. was a 3 pack, and the Answer was a 2 pack. And I weirdly thought, "if something like this ever happens again, I'll have a couple extra, instead of one extra." Really, that was the least explainable part of it. I don't know. Lol. Anyway.
So, I pay for all my stuff. And I feel really awkward, because I go into this CVS every week, and I'm like, great, the cashier is going to see me in here all the time and either think I'm pregnant or not pregnant (I don't know how to explain this, lol), and just be weird. Anyway. So, I paid for my stuff, put my shopping cart away at the front entrance, and circled back into the store. Lol. I was hoping the lady who rang me up didn't see me again, because FREAK! Coming back into the store after she just paid for her stuff. Lol. So, I go into the bathroom. Thankfully, a single stall. I take take the pregnancy test.
I have to back up for a minute.
So I told you about the brand I used for Oliver vs. the brand I tested with this time. Even though they look identical (they are pink dye, 1 or 2 line tests), apparently, they function a little differently.
I'm about to talk about pee, now, so if you need to stop reading, go ahead.
With the Answer brand, you pee on the absorbant stick, you see the pee soak up to the window, you see it touch the first line (which is the PREGNANT line), and the color appears IMMEDIATELY if you're pregnant. (So, with Oliver, I knew as soon as the pee hit that first line I was pg, before it even got to the CONTROL line (the one that shoes up whether you're pregnant or not) because it pinked up instantly. And then, as soon as the pee hit the CONTROL line, it pinks up immediately, too.
With this brand, the First Response, apparently, NEITHER line will pink up as soon as the pee hits it. Except, you don't know that until you're using it. hehe.
Ok, so I pee on the test. I'm sitting there, watching it. I see the pee hit the viewing window. Then I see the pee soak into the spot where the PREGNANT line should be. Nothing shows up. I breathe a sigh of relief. (Remember, I'm thinking the test will react the same way as the brand I used with Oliver.) The pee moves on. It soaks into the area the CONTROL line should be. Except the CONTROL line doesn't pink up, either.
Sweet fancy moses. I suddenly realize that I'm not out of the woods yet. I see pink in neither place, which means one or both are going to take time to pink up. These seconds feel like days. I know this all took less than 60 seconds. Or it couldn't have been much more than that, at all. So, when color starts to come into a pregnancy test, you just can't explain what its like unless you've watched one turn. You see something, but you're not sure what. Evaporation lines, maybe? Then, maybe color? Or is that just soaking into a line, and not actually color? Except then BOTH lines were DEFINITELY pink at the exact same time. And they just keep getting pinker. I keep watching as they turn Fuschia. I keep looking, thinking I'm seeing things. Or maybe they'll somehow turn un-pink. Lol. I don't know. Some part of me was like "I knew it." and Some part of me was like, "....WHAT? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"
So I stand up. I get my phone out of my purse. I have to call my person. I call Katherine. She doesn't answer. I decide there is no option but for her to pick up the phone, or I might go postal, so I call her again.
She answers this time.
Let me back up for a minute. Like, a week before, on facebook, I had "liked" a friend's sonogram photo, and it showed up in Katherine's newsfeed with my name associated with it. At first glance, before processing, she thinks its MY sonogram picture. So, she emails me a funny email about seeing what she saw and how she was freaking out, etc. So I told her, "Thats really funny. But trust me, you'd know WAYYYYYYYYYY before Facebook."
So...back to Katherine answering her phone. She sounds ....rushed or something. I say, "Are you OK?" She says yes, but shes getting ready to leave (I think.) I think I say something like "Ok, we'll I'm make this fast then......So...um....I made a mistake (meaning WHOOPSING on my "carefulness" or something) and....you know WAY before facebook."
She sits there for a minute and doesn't say anything. I wonder if she heard me, or if she gets the reference. And then she says, "....No...........No....."
And I'm like YES I'M TOTALLY NOT KIDDING.
so then I don't remember exactly everything after that. Except we establish that I'm the CVS bathroom, lol, I just tested, I haven't even flushed the toilet yet, so I flush the toilet so she can hear I really am in the CVS bathroom (LOL!) and I don't know what else. Oh, so I'm totally freaking out, and shes like "Everythings going to be fine." and I'm like "I DON'T EVEN HAVE MATERNITY COVERAGE." And shes like, "I've got some!" And I'm like "Oh, thanks, are you going to share it with me, lol?" I still have no idea what she was talking about. lol Anyway. We talk. I'm pacing the bathroom. I start to realize, maybe someone can hear me outside the bathroom. FREAK! Lol. And I've been in there kind of for a while. And the walls are closing in and I have to move. So we hang up.
As I open the bathroom door, I am hoping that no one is standing outside the door wondering what in the world is going on in there. Lol. Thankfully, no one was there, and I leave without anyone seeing me (I think).
I drive home to tell Andrew. I was supposed to go to Target first, and get Sbux for Andrew, and I thought about getting one of those "Big Brother" shirts for Oliver to put on him to "tell" andrew that way....but I determine I'm WAY too excited to wait, AND, Oliver is napping and I'd have to wait until he was up from his nap. So I call Andrew and tell him I don't feel like going to Target, but that I got him something instead of Starbucks. Heheh. Hes like, what is it? I'm like, its a surprise, but you're going to like it way better than Starbucks, I promise.
Anyway, so I get home, go upstairs to set my stuff down, come back downstairs with the test in my back pocket. Andrew is working at his desk, and I just hand him the pregnancy test, and hes like "You're pregnant?! WHY ARE YOU PREGNANT?"
LOL. Because he had NO. CLUE. that I thought this month was "weird" or that I might even possibly be pregnant. Anyway. So, the conversation went from there, he was SUPER excited and floored. I video taped the sound of me telling him, but that is for the private collection. Its pretty great. I'm glad we have it!
ETA: Even though I'm not entirely sure of dates, I feel pretty confident with July 8th being my 40 week guess date, once I went back and re-examined things.
I found out I was pg. on Sat. the 29th of Oct., at 3PM ish...at 13 DPO or 3 weeks and 6 days pg.
2 comments:
Wow! Was grinning all throughout this post. . .
Birthing at home was super cheap. ;-D No epi though >-o
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