Finding Out I'm Pregnant with baby #2

So, here is the story. For posterity and all you other crazy baby-related story lovers out there. If you don't want to hear a few "female" explanations, you should check out now. This is your warning.













So. I chart my cycles. Using the Fertility Awareness Method. Google it if you don't know what that is. Or go to www.ovusoft.com. (I love that site.) And no, its NOT the rhythm method, in case anyone thinks so. We're pretty "careful." I have been working on getting some medical stuff done to figure out why I am so exhausted all the time. (See a previous post somewhere about this.) I always call it "chronic fatigue" because i don't know how else to describe it. Anyway. Because I am SO tired all the time, I have not been thinking about having another child, at LEAST until IF/WHEN we figured out why I'm so tired all.the.time AND had a fix for it. Also, we have no maternity health insurance. (Which means, a pregnancy/birth would not be eligible for health insurance coverage.) If you don't know, pregnancies/births are EX.PEN.SIVE. Even low risk/minimally intervened-with ones. So, all around, not on our "any time remotely soon" agenda.

Anyway. This was a weird charting month for me. I won't go into details here, in case I would gross anyone out. But...if you're a charting nerd like me, and want details, I'll be happy to explain it to you. But lets just say, we took precautions and on top of that, looking at my chart and knowing everything about the month would in no way make you think conception was really "possible." (Except the God factor.)

Hahaha. Ok...so...because of the weird month (sorry, this is so vague and will now become harder to explain from here), I wasn't entirely sure "where I was at" toward the end of my cycle. I knew kind of approximately, but not within a day like I normally do. So I took my waking temps a lot more than I normally do, to try to get a better indicator of when my cycle would be ending. Except...my waking body temperature spiked way higher than I had ever seen it go before. Two mornings in a row. And I wasn't entirely sure where I was at...but I knew I should be wrapping up my cycle....except my temps were freakishly high, I was going Triphasic, my overall length of cycle was longer than it ever had been for the past several months, and I was just sick of guessing when I should start my next cycle. And, Oliver had been acting really clingy and strange about nursing the last few days. Like, terrified, almost, to unlatch and get out of my lap. Bizarre. I know kids often cycle into days or weeks of differing behaviors, but this was one more thing that was just weird to me. (He might be able to sense a change in my milk.)

I really can't explain too well more than that why I decided to test. It was just a weird month, and I wanted to know what was up. Because I was sick of thinking about the "what if." So, when I went to CVS on Saturday for my weekly coupon run, I decided to get a pg. test. Except, the whole time I was in there doing the rest of my shopping, I went back and forth...do I buy one? Do I not buy one? Back. and. forth. It was the last item I picked up.

With Oliver, I used the "Answer" brand test, but this time, I bought a "First Response" test. Why did I change brands? (Like you care.) Well, for one, this one said on the box "test 6 days sooner" whereas the Answer brand said "test 5 days sooner." And because i wanted to QUIT THINKING ABOUT IT, I just wanted to rule out ANY possibility, and get an answer as soon as possible. And, the F.R. was a 3 pack, and the Answer was a 2 pack. And I weirdly thought, "if something like this ever happens again, I'll have a couple extra, instead of one extra." Really, that was the least explainable part of it. I don't know. Lol. Anyway.

So, I pay for all my stuff. And I feel really awkward, because I go into this CVS every week, and I'm like, great, the cashier is going to see me in here all the time and either think I'm pregnant or not pregnant (I don't know how to explain this, lol), and just be weird. Anyway. So, I paid for my stuff, put my shopping cart away at the front entrance, and circled back into the store. Lol. I was hoping the lady who rang me up didn't see me again, because FREAK! Coming back into the store after she just paid for her stuff. Lol. So, I go into the bathroom. Thankfully, a single stall. I take take the pregnancy test.

I have to back up for a minute.

So I told you about the brand I used for Oliver vs. the brand I tested with this time. Even though they look identical (they are pink dye, 1 or 2 line tests), apparently, they function a little differently.


I'm about to talk about pee, now, so if you need to stop reading, go ahead.








With the Answer brand, you pee on the absorbant stick, you see the pee soak up to the window, you see it touch the first line (which is the PREGNANT line), and the color appears IMMEDIATELY if you're pregnant. (So, with Oliver, I knew as soon as the pee hit that first line I was pg, before it even got to the CONTROL line (the one that shoes up whether you're pregnant or not) because it pinked up instantly. And then, as soon as the pee hit the CONTROL line, it pinks up immediately, too.

With this brand, the First Response, apparently, NEITHER line will pink up as soon as the pee hits it. Except, you don't know that until you're using it. hehe.

Ok, so I pee on the test. I'm sitting there, watching it. I see the pee hit the viewing window. Then I see the pee soak into the spot where the PREGNANT line should be. Nothing shows up. I breathe a sigh of relief. (Remember, I'm thinking the test will react the same way as the brand I used with Oliver.) The pee moves on. It soaks into the area the CONTROL line should be. Except the CONTROL line doesn't pink up, either.

Sweet fancy moses. I suddenly realize that I'm not out of the woods yet. I see pink in neither place, which means one or both are going to take time to pink up. These seconds feel like days. I know this all took less than 60 seconds. Or it couldn't have been much more than that, at all. So, when color starts to come into a pregnancy test, you just can't explain what its like unless you've watched one turn. You see something, but you're not sure what. Evaporation lines, maybe? Then, maybe color? Or is that just soaking into a line, and not actually color? Except then BOTH lines were DEFINITELY pink at the exact same time. And they just keep getting pinker. I keep watching as they turn Fuschia. I keep looking, thinking I'm seeing things. Or maybe they'll somehow turn un-pink. Lol. I don't know. Some part of me was like "I knew it." and Some part of me was like, "....WHAT? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"

So I stand up. I get my phone out of my purse. I have to call my person. I call Katherine. She doesn't answer. I decide there is no option but for her to pick up the phone, or I might go postal, so I call her again.

She answers this time.

Let me back up for a minute. Like, a week before, on facebook, I had "liked" a friend's sonogram photo, and it showed up in Katherine's newsfeed with my name associated with it. At first glance, before processing, she thinks its MY sonogram picture. So, she emails me a funny email about seeing what she saw and how she was freaking out, etc. So I told her, "Thats really funny. But trust me, you'd know WAYYYYYYYYYY before Facebook."

So...back to Katherine answering her phone. She sounds ....rushed or something. I say, "Are you OK?" She says yes, but shes getting ready to leave (I think.) I think I say something like "Ok, we'll I'm make this fast then......So...um....I made a mistake (meaning WHOOPSING on my "carefulness" or something) and....you know WAY before facebook."

She sits there for a minute and doesn't say anything. I wonder if she heard me, or if she gets the reference. And then she says, "....No...........No....."

And I'm like YES I'M TOTALLY NOT KIDDING.

so then I don't remember exactly everything after that. Except we establish that I'm the CVS bathroom, lol, I just tested, I haven't even flushed the toilet yet, so I flush the toilet so she can hear I really am in the CVS bathroom (LOL!) and I don't know what else. Oh, so I'm totally freaking out, and shes like "Everythings going to be fine." and I'm like "I DON'T EVEN HAVE MATERNITY COVERAGE." And shes like, "I've got some!" And I'm like "Oh, thanks, are you going to share it with me, lol?" I still have no idea what she was talking about. lol Anyway. We talk. I'm pacing the bathroom. I start to realize, maybe someone can hear me outside the bathroom. FREAK! Lol. And I've been in there kind of for a while. And the walls are closing in and I have to move. So we hang up.

As I open the bathroom door, I am hoping that no one is standing outside the door wondering what in the world is going on in there. Lol. Thankfully, no one was there, and I leave without anyone seeing me (I think).

I drive home to tell Andrew. I was supposed to go to Target first, and get Sbux for Andrew, and I thought about getting one of those "Big Brother" shirts for Oliver to put on him to "tell" andrew that way....but I determine I'm WAY too excited to wait, AND, Oliver is napping and I'd have to wait until he was up from his nap. So I call Andrew and tell him I don't feel like going to Target, but that I got him something instead of Starbucks. Heheh. Hes like, what is it? I'm like, its a surprise, but you're going to like it way better than Starbucks, I promise.

Anyway, so I get home, go upstairs to set my stuff down, come back downstairs with the test in my back pocket. Andrew is working at his desk, and I just hand him the pregnancy test, and hes like "You're pregnant?! WHY ARE YOU PREGNANT?"

LOL. Because he had NO. CLUE. that I thought this month was "weird" or that I might even possibly be pregnant. Anyway. So, the conversation went from there, he was SUPER excited and floored. I video taped the sound of me telling him, but that is for the private collection. Its pretty great. I'm glad we have it!





ETA: Even though I'm not entirely sure of dates, I feel pretty confident with July 8th being my 40 week guess date, once I went back and re-examined things.

I found out I was pg. on Sat. the 29th of Oct., at 3PM ish...at 13 DPO or 3 weeks and 6 days pg.

This world has nothing for me...and this world has everything...

I am kind of addicted to reading birth stories. Seriously. Its kind of out of control.

Also, I really like to give unsolicited advice. Lol. It is true. I mean, its not the unsolicited part that I actually *enjoy*.....(in fact, it sometimes kind of makes me cringe b/c I really don't want to come across as THAT girl, even though I probably am A. LOT.) ...its just...I'm all over sharing things with people, when it comes to a subject I'm really passionate about....you know...babies and stuff, for one. (ok, who am I kidding...for fifty.) Because I get really excited...and, when I believe in something I'm really happy to "spread the wealth."

Ugh. Such a lame-o blog post. Who writes this stuff?

This world is full of heartaches. I am thankful for all of my many blessings. The greatest of which is my Lord and Savior being my constant -- He will never leave me or forsake me, even in the midst of suffering or even death. If you don't know Him, I'll be glad to tell you about Him.

(P.S....this is NOT a cryptic message about me having a life-threatening illness or anything strange.)

HT: some old school Caedmon's Call

Parenthood: its a wild ride

Today I found out a dear friend is expecting her first baby. Also, I am slightly obsessed with the Hallmark Fresh Ink Cards (the square ones) that are funny. So tonight, I picked up the following card to send to her. (I'm also including what I'm writing in it - I'm sure you'll figure it out.)

(On the front, with a picture of a bull)

I'M THINKING ABOUT STARTING AN ADOPT-AN-EX-RODEO-BULL-AS-A-PET PROGRAM.

(Inside)

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

Welcome to parenthood, which is pretty much exactly like this...but with more breastfeeding.

I'm pretty sure she'll think its hilarious. I do, of course. Is it just me (us?)

Full circle...kind of.

When I first moved to Jackson, I nannied for a toddler named Mary Ellis. She was ah. dor. uh. bull. Anyway, when we'd go to Target, she'd say and sign 'ball' at the red balls outside the front doors. Just about every time I've gone to Target since then, I think of it. Its fun that now I have a child that does the same thing.

I let Oliver try Pop-Rocks tonight, and he LOVES them. It is so funny to me, because I was scared to DEATH of the things until I was basically a teenager. Lol. (And no, candy is not a norm for Oliver.)

Around 3 years ago this week-ish, I got pregnant with Oliver. So, I've technically been a mom for 3 years, now.

I should blog

7 months? Really, Dena?

Andrew got the pastor job in KC. Its awesome to be back. We are blessed.

Oliver is 27 1/2 months old. Or, as Andrew told me today when he asked me how old he (Oliver) was, so he could write it on his growth chart when he measured him, "No." Ok, so excuse me, he is 2 years and 3 1/2 months old.

Where has the summer gone?

I coupon now. Its kind of consuming.

I'm going to see a an integrative-medicine specialist in a few weeks, here, that will hopefully find something wrong with me. You know, because, my whole life, (and you've seen it on my blog) I've been telling you that I'm insanely tired/sleepy/sickly, and you're always, "suck it up, Dena?" Yeah. I'm so over being tired/sleepy/sickly all the time. 28 years is plenty. And being a mom while constantly being those things - I'm so over it. (those other things..not the mom part.) I'm hopeful that we will figure out what it is, whether it is a food intolerance (gluten?), hormonal imbalance or something else, and that it will be FIXABLE. Cause, really, I am ready to be LIVING and not just SURVIVING. More than ready.

I'm really opinionated and passionate about the things I believe in. But really, if you're not, what is the point in having convictions, you know? I probably step on a lot of people's toes. But, I'm mostly ok with that. Unless I'm doing something that is truly un-Christian. But mostly, I think our culture does a really good job of just not speaking up about stuff because we might hurt someone's feelings or something. Which really isn't helping anyone. If you bring up a mommy issue (birth/breastfeeding, etc) issue or maybe even an issue about religion, I'm probably going to give you my opinion, whether you asked for it or not.

I am thankful for friends who listen and who are understanding.

I love Oliver. He is still nursing. (I used the word "still", I don't know why. It conveys a sense of "oh my stars. are you kidding me?!" that I don't intend.) Anyway, back to Oliver. He is in his terrible twos. Which I feel terrible even saying. But it is true. That kid is out of one thing and into sixteen. Or actually, hes still into one thing while hes getting into 32 others. It is amazing.

I am still amazed at people having toddlers and the like and having more babies (on purpose). Now, because I am a Christian and believe children are a blessing from the LORD, I am in a minority here. How can I be amazed when people do this and still believe that? I'm hoping its largely because I'm so exhausted and stressed (from the exhaustion, which compounds normal life hardships, I'm assuming) all the time, the thought of having more children really makes me feel like I'd lose my marbles.

I don't think I'm type A, but I am still always frazzled because I am always behind in things I need to be getting done. Does that mean I'm type A after all? Does type A really exist?

I like reading blogs. Mine is boring. Write me a comment to let me know you're out there. (Hi, katherine. marci? morgan? *crickets * )

Shutterfly-ing again!

Striking Damask Print Thank You 5x7 folded card

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Random Thoughts

You have no idea how many saved and unposted blog entries I have.

Songs and smells bring me back to specific memories/points in time throughout the years.

Tonight, at dinner, Paula Abdul's "Rush Rush" played, and all I could think of was being at Skate World during elementary school and hearing that play during Couple's Skate. How bizarre is that? I haven't thought of/heard that song in who knows how long, and I never consciously made that connection before. But apparently it is engrained in my memory somewhere.

To this day, when I smell Softsoap's classic scent (the clear liquid soap), I am right back at Trinity International University visiting Andrew at undergrad there when we dated, washing my hands in Mary and Laura's dorm room (which is who I stayed with there). That was more than 8 years ago. They had that soap, and that's all I ever think about when I wash my hands with that soap, now.

What are some of your smell/song connections?

Dena Recommends: Portable DVD player for long car rides with a child

Dena Recommends:
Portable DVD player for long car rides with a child

We recently had a long travel, and since those don't tend to go well with Oliver, I had a mini panic attack (not actually) a couple of days before we left and decided to use my Christmas money to order a portable DVD player for the car to see if that would keep Oliver entertained and keep the screaming to a minimum when all the other activity options ran out. I read a lot of reviews on Amazon and ended up with this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001TCJI7E/ref=oss_product . I did overnight shipping (only 4 bucks) so we could get it in time to go. Now, we've only used it for several hours during the trip, but I have to say it seems like great quality at a great price. It has 2 earphone jacks, which I loved, but Oliver wasn't quite down with headphones, so we mostly used it without headphones. The sound was loud enough to hear over the road noises. Oh, and it comes with a car adapter, so you don't have to use the battery at all on the trip. The picture quality was great, and the sound quality was great, didn't sound tinny or anything. It sounded really well-balanced. It has a nice sized screen. Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be so much about the actual player we chose, but it was supposed to be about how I'm recommending that parents get one of these for such car rides. Totally worth the money, when and if you have it. It was a life saver. FOR REAL. I can't even imagine what the trip would have been like without it. We bought a soft-case holder for it with straps that attach it to the back of car seats, and it worked well. Actually, we jerry rigged it to attach to the back of one seat instead of hanging between both seats like its made to do, and it worked perfectly, too.

2010 Small Review

I feel like today is a day one is expected to blog. But as usual, I don't know what to say or where to start. So many things I should be doing. Like Quicken. And laundry. And making sense of messy piles of everything. Life beckons. But I'll attempt a post.

Overall, I'd say 2010 was the most difficult year of my life, for many many reasons. But even so, there may not have been any other year where God carried me (and my family) through so much. There is not another year where I remember seeing his Hand of Providence so clearly. He showed his unfailing faithfulness.

2010 started with knowing Andrew would be leaving his position as pastor in Tchula, MS with not even a small prospect of another job or a way to make ends meet. Still, that's really all I can write about it, but there are so many very difficult and trying details that tie in with that. So. Very. VERY. Many.

Then we needed to move out of the Tchula Presbyterian Church manse by the end of July. We were having an impossible time finding anywhere to live (for reasons of finances, lease times, etc), until at the very last moment, God opened something perfect up for us. It was more ideal than we could have even hoped for as a best case scenario. We were able to rent out the downstairs fully furnished apartment in an elderly couple's home for very little rent. We moved in at the end of July. The downside was we'd have to be out by the end of October, because they would be housing a missionary there, come November 1.

During the whole year, Andrew was feverishly searching for work. Ultimately, for another pastoring position in the Presbyterian Church of America (the denomination we're a part of). But for immediate times, he looked for anything. Fast food work, white collar, blue collar, staffing agencies, word-of-mouth, part-time work, full-time work, jobs he was grossly overqualified for, and jobs he was grossly under qualified for. He covered all the bases. In-person and by mail applications. Online searching and making phone calls to search. It was his full time job, looking for a job. And oh, the stress of that situation. For all three of us. Drain. ing.

And God still provided for our needs, all of them, even with no income. Even though we didn't have a "nest egg" saved up for such a situation. The bills still got paid. No one went hungry. We had a roof over our heads.

Toward the end of August, with still no hope of a job for Andrew, his parents made another offer/plea for us to just move up to Illinois, where he is from, to live with his family for a time to save pennies, and for Andrew to have consistent work for a while, helping his dad with harvest on their farm. We thought about it (again). Prayed about it. Thought some more, prayed some more. With STILL no job possibility in sight, and the knowledge that we'd have to move AGAIN in less than 2 months anyway, and the knowledge of the difficulty in finding a place to live considering lack of funds and not wanting to get roped into a long lease, we decided we were moving to Illinois, in with his parents.

Even though we could have stayed in the downstairs apartment through the end of October, we moved out mid-September, so we could get up to IL in time for harvest to begin. Melissa, Andrew's sister, flew down to help us move. That was wonderful. Moving is exhausting. Especially for me, I think, since I have major fatigue issues. As soon as we got to Illinois, my body crashed, and I was sick in bed for two days.

Immediately, it was so good to be near family...and to be back in the Midwest. We are so not Southerners. Although we were sad to part with a handful of dear friends in Mississippi.

Andrew got to work with his dad harvesting crops right away. It was good for him to have constant work again. Good for his mind and spirits. And we were also able to have a month and or two of income, again.

Its very difficult living with other people. The three of us are in one bedroom. Most of our things are in a storage unit, but we still have A. LOT. of stuff, and we've tried to cram it into such a small space. Melissa lives here, too, so its like three families under one roof, trying to coexist peacefully. Under the circumstances, I couldn't expect it to be going any smoother, but it still has its very real challenges, for all of us.

While living here, of course, Andrew has kept up the constant job hunt. Still, nothing has materialized, either for a pastoring job or any other type of work (except for the short time of farming with his dad). Still, God has provided for all of our needs, even with no monies coming in at this time.

We are hopeful that God will provide a pastoring job for Andrew in 2011. We've made a couple of great contacts lately for that, but there is nothing to report as of yet. Please keep us in your prayers.

Shutterfly Flat Cards That Never Saw The Light of...a Printing Press

So, if you've been keeping up with the last few posts (Hi, Katherine!), here are the flat cards that never got printed. Just showing them off for fun.

I REALLY liked this one, and was really sad when I found out I couldn't send both flat and folded cards and use the free coupon. I love that it has God's Word on it, explaining who Christ is. I know my parents really would have loved to send this one out, too.

In His Name Religious Christmas Card

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I also really like this one. I thought the picture of Oliver with the music theme was fun, too.

Christ Is King Religious Christmas Card

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Really like the design on this card. Can you tell? My mom, when browsing the stock Shutterfly cards always commented when she saw whimsical prints like this, that she knew I loved them, because, "it looks SO paisley." (and I'm kind of addicted to paisley...and whimsy prints...its true.)

Swirling Ornaments Christmas Card

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Completely different and fun in its own way.

Polar Express Christmas Card

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That is all.

More Shutterfly Cards

Again, mostly for Katherine's benefit....here are the cards I did for my parents, using the 50 Free Card Credit from Shutterfly. They should arrive to my parents sometime next week. I did 5 of each of the following cards, except 10 of the first card. Plus, the 5 original ones I already had sent to them last week (blogged about below), they will have 55 unique cards to send out this year with their grandson on them! I had SO much fun doing this! I also made some fun flat cards, but it wouldn't let me redeem the free credit using both types of cards, so I went back and did extra folded cards and had all of those sent, instead (again, which is what you're about to see below). Maybe I'll do another post someday about the flat cards that are cute.

Rejoice Lord King Religious Christmas 5x7 folded card

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I love this one. This was one of the few cards that let me change the main text...it just had "Merry Christmas" on it, I think, but I knew I needed something to align with the special picture being used...I was so happy with the outcome of the Christmas phrase with the picture...simple things bring delight to me, apparently.

Holly Frame Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Most Wonderful Year Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Holly Peppermint Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Vintage Village Holiday 5x7 folded card

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Bright Red Snowflakes Christmas 5x7 folded card

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I really like all the cards, but there is something about the simplicity of this one I adore!

Retro Christmas Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Funky Christmas Wishes Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Peppermint Peace Christmas 5x7 folded card

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3 Shutterfly Example Cards

This post is primarily for Katherine's benefit since I can't figure out another way to share this and have it actually work. Anyway. These are three sample cards from Shutterfly that I made for my parents, if they were to order cards this year with Oliver on them. Shutterfly was running a special the other week (which my mom took advantage of) where they were giving 5 free cards so you could see how they turn out. Mom was buying some calendars I made, anyway, so I did these cards for her. Long story, I ended up only being able to send her 5 of the same card instead of 5 different examples, but here were my top 3 from the ones I made up. The first is a card design she chose (minus the pics, etc, that was my choice), but the other two I picked out and are totally ME, but not my mom's style whatsoever. Anyway. here you go, Kat. (Hi, everybody else).

The one (five of these) I had printed and sent to my mom:

Count Your Blessings Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Second One, which is probably my fave:

Mod Ornaments Holiday Card

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Third, which is my next fave of the ones I made up:

Vintage Glee Christmas Card

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2010 Photo Book Gifts are DONE!

I guess this will be a yearly tradition for gifts for my parents, Andrew's parents, both of his grandmas and for my brother. We did it last year, and it was a major hit. The quality of Shutterfly's books is truly spectacular. Combined, this project represents hundreds or actually, who am I kidding, more than a thousand photos combed through from the last year, then edited down as possibilities for the books, 160 photo pages, plus 5 covers, 5 back covers, font size/color/type/placement, wording, background & photo framing decisions. Most of which was done while wrangling a VERY BUSY little boy or in the middle of the night when my body is half sleeping, anyway. Because that's the time I have to work with. Its a HUGE undertaking, but its hugely rewarding. I've tweaked until the cows came home like a crazy lady (you know, like that lady from those scary, I think its Target(?), Christmas/Black Friday commercials or whatever it is?, yeah, think that) but I am making myself STEP AWAY FROM THE BOOKS and not tweak ANY MORE details unless someone finds a glaring error.
Enjoy.

My Parents' Book

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Andrew's Parents' Book

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Bubby's Book

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Oliver's Great-Grandma Maggio

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Oliver's Great-Grandma Maggio

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countyourblessingscard

since I'm on a shutterfly kick, here are the sample cards i ordered for MY parents. shutterfly was offering 5 free cards through today, and since my mom had ordered some other things from them (which I designed and made), I did up these cards for her as well. Another reason Shutterfly is awesome, I'm getting a $25 certificate for embedding the card in this post!

Count Your Blessings Christmas 5x7 folded card

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Shutterfly Cards

Everyone, you should check out Shutterfly . Its the site we use for our picture books we gave to a few family members last year, and they're offering a special for 50 free cards if you go here: http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/ Back to the photo books, they are INCREDIBLE quality (seriously) and it was such a huge hit, we're going back for round two this year for those same family members.

This was Bubby's book last year

Mom and Dad's book last year

MIL and FIL's book last year

When I finish this year's books, I'll try to remember to post them, too.

We don't send out cards, but my MIL and FIL do, and this year, the plan is to put Oliver on the cards. We're brainstorming ideas for a picture, and it includes snow, so we're hoping it snows soon to get the picture. It also involves a vintage sled a friend was just going to throw out and him in the cute Christmas pjs from Hanna Andersson Debra bought him- these. Hope it comes to fruition. If it doesn't snow soon, we'll have to come up with plan B. Not sure what card Debra will pick, but these are my 3 fave designs:

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/modern-ornaments-christmas-4x8-photo-card-4x8-photo?sortType=1&storeNode=93480

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/snowflakes-and-wishes-christmas-5x7-photo-card-5x7-photo?sortType=1&storeNode=93480

http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/cards-stationery/vintage-snowflakes-holiday-5x7-photo-card-5x7-photo?sortType=1&storeNode=93480

Thanks to Kat for cluing me in on this promotion!

18 + months

Oliver is saying probably 20 ish words, now. Some hes been saying for a long time. Some are new-ish. I'll try to compile a list. I'll probably forget some.

Dada
Mama
bath
Clock
Bruce
Brush
woof-woof (does this count as a word, or is it a sound effect?)
banana
shoes
socks (doesn't say very much)
all done
nighty night
bye bye
baby (he sings this one, as in "baby, baby, baby signing time")
ball
hat
book (this is probably the newest one)
no (and no no no)
push (second newest word)

he says "broom broom" for a car sound.

there are several other "words" he says where we can't really tell what hes saying. he says something for things like food, drink, and milk, and maybe "that," but none of them sound like any real words. He calls milk "goosh," but sometimes he also seems to make a similar sound for "food/eat," "drink," and "that" (like when he points to something he wants.

if he has a poop diaper i'll say, "ooh, stinky" and scrunch my face up, and he'll do it too, making the same sound i make with my voice.

he understands a LOT of what we say to him, even if he can't say anything back or say the words, himself. He will run to the stairs if we say we're going upstairs or downstairs. He will bring things to us if we say "bring it to mommy," etc. he knows what we're talking about when we talk about going to the toybox or toys. He likes to give kisses and will hug and kiss a stuffed monkey from GG if we tell him to. He knows what sleepy milk is. He loves rubber gloves and pot holders and things like reusable grocery bags or anything he can tote around.

He signs several things, too. like:
mom
dad
ball
bath
baby
signing
time
milk
all done
dog
hat


he kind of signs eat and drink...he points to his mouth, etc
there are probably other signs hes signed once or twice, but not regularly. I'm also forgetting things he signs or says.

around 17 months or so, he got REALLY into reading books. This is such a fun stage! We are reading lots of books to him now. His faves are rhyming books. He bops his head to the meter. Its hilarious. He will even go get a book and sit on the floor or crawl up in a chair or in bed and "read" out loud or silently to himself.

Today, he pointed to the clock in "Goodnight Moon" and said, "gock."

last night, i dropped something and sucked in my breath loudly. Oliver did it at the same time, too. That was the first time I'd heard him do anything like that. It was like "OH NO!"

He dances to nearly all music. He likes to put on his dad's and grandpa's hats. He can walk up and down the stairs by himself, while holding onto the spindles. He likes to push a broom around the house. He still wants to stick ANYTHING he can get his hands on in his mouth. We have to watch him like a hawk . He is very fast and will get into anything in a split second. He likes to sit in his bathtub and hang out and play with toys or read a book. He likes to push around laundry baskets...and climb in them. Thats not a new thing, though. He likes to push buttons on telephones and remote controls. There are a lot of asian beetles (orange ladybugs) and flys here. He likes to poke them with his finger. He tries to plug attachments into the cpu. We really have to watch that one. He turns the switch off and on on his aquarium light toy. Sorry, don't know how to explain what this is. He wants to click the mouse. One of his favorite hobbies is putting all the newspapers and magazines in the house on the floor.

He knows where a mouth, nose, ears, eyes and feet and a head are. We're working on hands. For a long time, he "signs/says" toothbrush or "brush your teeth" by sticking his finger up to his mouth, moving it back and forth and saying, "ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh."

Thats about all I have time for tonight.

My Lifes Yours, Love

I think about blogging all the time, but then I don't know really what to say.

We moved to Illinois, in with Andrew's parents. That has been going well. Andrew is still looking for a call to the pastorate in the PCA or possibly OPC. That is the long-term thing hes still looking for. In the meantime, since we've been here, hes been harvesting with his dad on the farm for work, and doing other farm work. Thats about to wrap up. On the agenda is to find any type of job in the Quad City Area to bring in some income in the interim of the pastor thing surfacing. Nothing has turned up yet on that front, either, but he'll have more time to commit to it once farm work is done for the season. Keep us in your prayers with that whole job/eventually moving out of his parents' house, etc situation.

I saw another doctor about my fatigue situation. (As in, just to give you the quick story, I need a ridiculous amount of sleep per day, and my rear end is dragging, 24/7. Simple tasks exhaust me. I get physically ill and crash and burn if I overexert (for me). I've been this way maybe my whole life, but at least since middle school or so.) It was nice, because she was the first doctor to probably take me very seriously and hear me. She actually mentioned the words 'chronic fatigue syndrome' which made me deliriously happy, because usually I'm the one thinking it or saying it, and when I do, the crazy bells in my head go off or people give me strange looks, or both. I even told her that. But. Anyway. She did more blood work and checked for several vitamin, etc deficiencies and also for a couple of viruses, but everything came back clear. The next thing to do is to have a sleep study. Which I knew she would say, because I've been told it before - last summer, actually. But I can't do that, because Oliver night nurses. And I can't take him with me. And leaving him home with Andrew all night to scream and not sleep and ME not sleep from being so worried about it doesn't = a good sleep study. But our health insurance runs out in November. So...I will not be having a sleep study. I was told if the results of that came back normal, I'd be referred to a specialist that deals with stuff like chronic fatigue syndrome. Anyway. So ...no sleep study for me, and no specialist to check into CFS, etc. So away I trudge, some more, being fatigued all the time with no explanation for it. I'm kind of depressed (not clinically) about it. But I hate not feeling normal and not having at least an explanation, if not a fix, for it. My inside desire for more activity and energy does not at all match my physical ability. Its really a horrible feeling. Not to mention already never feeling great because I'm so tired all the time. At the end of the day, like now, when Oliver is finally asleep, I have to stay up for an hour or two in order to wind down, because that is the only free time (not actually free, just not maintaining a toddler) I have to myself all day, and I need that, too, in order to function.

I know most people don't feel this way. And I know not every child is as high need as Oliver. But its still hard for me to wrap my mind around my friends having babies so close together lately. Or being asked when we're having another one. I feel like I just gave birth, still. Oliver is 17 1/2 months old. I haven't caught up on sleep or energy even a little bit, people! Ok. Maybe a LITTLE BIT. But not anything significant. :) No two people or situations are ever the same. Its not fair or accurate to compare, is it?

Thanks to Kat for hearing me say most of what I just typed, on the phone the other night. :)

PS - Being a mom is the best job in the world. Have I mentioned that?


"Hush now.... don't explain...there ain't nothin' to gain..." ~ A la Damien Rice/Herbie Hancock, (because that's what I'm listening to). HT for the blog entry title, too.

Of Words and Poo

Tuesday, I think, I showed Oliver his socks and asked if he could say it. Out came, "DOCKS." But he only said it once. That is his way. If you try to get him to repeat words, he usually won't. So over that day and the next, I would prompt him to say it again, and he would, but just once each time. Its so cute. So now he has "docks" to go with his "chooose."

Today, I showed him his nose and Mama's nose. Repeatedly in one sitting. He was quite focused. Then tonight, I asked him where Mama's nose was, with no gesturing, etc. He pointed right on my nose. Such a smart boy. Which brings me to another question I have been pondering lately. Do parents ever think their kid is NOT smart? LOL.

Oliver isn't seeming to try to say too many words, other than his own babble, which he does all the time. I'm sure it means something to him. But hes not a big mimicker yet. But, he clearly recognizes MANY words. That is the cute part.

For instance, tonight (and I've thought hes done it for a while, but it was confirmed), when I told him we needed to get his toothbrush (with no gestures from me to indicate what I was talking about), he stuck his finger in his mouth, wiggled it around and went, "AHHHHH." Oh man, ....I love it.

Another example. Oliver is very good at shaking his head yes or no. He did "no" for a long time before getting the "yes" shake down pat. Andrew likes to say one or the other and wait for Oliver to shake his head. He always gets it correct. But I theorized at the dinner table that Oliver might be shaking his head correctly only in response to the specific over-emphasized unique intonation Andrew uses for one or the other. So Andrew said "Yes" with the intonation he normally uses for "Nooo" and Oliver still got it right! Hooray! Oh, only a proud parent could appreciate such a tale. Hehe.

Am I the only parent who can't tell if their kid has diarrhea or just non-firm poops? I mean, his poo, when he was exclusively breast fed and under 6 months was runny. I knew that was normal. Then after that, it was quite firm for a few months. Now, it is back and forth. I never know if this is an indication of a) a food allergy (since he eats most stuff now, including dairy and a variety of other things that could potentially bother someone's system b) him still reviving large amounts of breast milk c) a normal variance of poo based on whatever hes eaten - in a non-food-allergy sort of way.

Hmm.

Off to bed I go.

Not Forgetting

In my short parenting career, I've had the best intentions about writing stuff down. Or assuming I'll remember things. Well, I'm realizing there are many things I'm forgetting about these wonderful baby days (yes, my 14 month old is my baby) I don't want to forget.

Here are some things I don't want to forget:
*The way Oliver smells like his California Baby Calming Wash/Shampoo after I've bathed him and we're snuggling in for the night.
*The way hes recently taken to making this growling sound...almost like Louis Armstrong...and how it makes me laugh so hard, he stops growling and looks at me so confused because he doesn't know why I'm laughing.
*When hes nursing while we're laying down, if hes antsy, the way he keep his head in place (still nursing) but stands his feet up and marches with his rear up in the air.
*His odd affinity for the toilet brush. Or plunger.
*The way he WILL put ANYTHING in his mouth. Including bits of paper, dust bunnies, and once recently, a box staple. Which, thankfully, I fished out in time.
*The way he finger paints with his food on his tray when hes done.
*The way he hums while he nurses sometimes.
*The sound of glee he makes when we "chase" him. Like, "huha huha huha huha huha."
*The sound of his feet almost running across the wood floors.
*The way I know if he is very quiet for more than 10 seconds, hes probably in trouble.
*The way he looks even sweeter than normal right after he wakes up.
*The way he loves to give kisses - with an open mouth.
*There is this toy my mom brought that you press on and then it wheels on the floor, playing a crazy tune, and the character in the vehicle is like a loony Carnival Man. I call it the Crazie Carnie. And Oliver loves the thing and is scared to death of it. He will press it down, and run like the wind, and watch Crazie Carnie drive like the maniac he is from afar. At the end it even says something like, "Ya hoo! YIPPEE!" Or something equally as nuts. I don't want to forget him starting the thing up and then running away to watch at a safe distance.

Oliver Turned 1 almost a month ago?!

Oliver turned 1 on May 6th. I can't believe it. I had intended to clean up/add to the details of his birth story, but of course, I didn't. We "celebrated" Barnes-style: very low-key at home. Mom and Dad were in town. We sang and stuck a candle in a Little Debbie Snack (which he did NOT eat thankyouverymuch) and opened presents that Andrew's parents had sent, and one present from Helen Gross. And that was that. I took some pictures. We got some decent family pictures, too. Not professional-decent but "hey, we don't all look drugged in this picture!" decent.

Andrew turned 28. That is also crazy.

Oliver started walking. He is all over the place, now. I think he took his first step the day before he turned 11 months. Actually, he may have technically taken a step or two a couple of weeks before even that. But I'm with Katherine. (Hi, Kat!) - Its so hard to know exactly when to count something.

He has at least 10 or 11 teeth poking through. He says, "shoes," "dog," "mama," "dada," and I think hes said, "bye," but he has definitely waved bye more than once, even just last night. He says dog or shoes most consistently. Its so cute. "Shoes" sounds kind of like "Tchoose" and "dog" sounds kind of like "duh." Also, he knows how to take my flip flop off my foot and put it back on my foot. Also, last night, he repeatedly laid his head down on this Thomas the Train pillow mom got him, while playing in his room. Its like he realized it was a pillow all of the sudden, even though it doesn't look like a normal pillow. Thankfully, we got a picture of it!

Mom bought him his first pair of shoes. I mean, real shoes. They are Stride Rite. Hes only worn them a few times for not very long. He doesn't like them. But he did better yesterday. You should see him when he walks with them on his feet - it is hilarious.

What else? We made it through his first semi-scary sickness. Hes had a cold before, and I think something else mild I don't remember what (maybe just a couple other runny noses), but right after he turned 1, he spiked a fever we initially thought was a reaction to his vaccinations. Except it was unusually high (at least 104.4 rectally at one point), lasted unusually long, and wouldn't stay down even with Tylenol and Motrin in his system. It was a long several days of very little sleep, lots of lukewarm baths, almost constant nursing (his only comfort & nutrition during all that - SUCH a blessing from God!) giving meds every 2 or every 4 or every 6 hours around the clock, lots of prayers, and a Sunday drive to Jackson to go to the after-hours clinic. You know its a big deal when the Barnes miss church over something. That NEVER happens. It turned out it was a virus, not a reaction to the shots. We were glad to see that gone for everyone's sakes, and we were so thankful that our baby was safe. It makes you so much more thankful for their life when something like that happens.

We had a whirlwind of travels late April to early May. Mom came and got Oliver and me, and we stayed a couple of days in Appleton and then went onto Bubby's for a couple of weeks. Andrew came down, actually the day before we made it to Bubby's, with Bruce, in our car. He stayed for a few days, then drove our car with Bruce up to see his parents. He came back to MS a couple of days before Mom, Dad, Oliver and myself came back, the day before Oliver's b-day. The trip was mostly planned around the fact that Katherine was home from Germany! I'm so glad it worked out for us to get to be home at the same time. Our boys were born exactly 6 months apart, and Kat and I hadn't seen one another in nearly 2 years. It was SUCH a good time. Besides that, I got to spend a lot of great time with family and friends. And ate some great KC food. Of course, we didn't see everyone we wanted to or go everywhere we wanted to, but that is always the case.

I think Oliver may have a milk (or something related) allergy. No bueno. We started giving him yogurt a little bit ago, and he had it about every day for a week. And I started noticing a rash on his body, and yeast infection on his bottom. So I think it is milk, but possibly blueberries, which he had one time. I'm hoping for blueberries, but thinking it is milk. But not a severe reaction, as hes never seemed to have a problem with it since I drink it and nurse him. Some babies do, you know. So right now I'm in the process of letting the rash go down, waiting until its gone, and then starting back up with the yogurt and seeing what happens -- being more diligent this time not to introduce anything else new at the same time. Please, please don't be a milk allergy.

Onto us. Well, we have to move and be out of this church manse in less than two months. And we have NO earthly clue where in the world we're going to be living or how we're going to make ends meet. Scary/exciting, etc. We're down to crunch time, and we have WAY too much to do and figure out and too little time. We are busy looking at all living arrangement options and all employment options for Andrew. Those are our full-time jobs, these days (along with keeping after a 1-yr old. And Andrew is still preaching various places a couple times a month, on average. Side story
: We did the math and figured out that after recouping $ for mileage, the church he preached at VERY far away last Sunday, he made a grand total of $30. Thirty. Dollars. Yes. That is for driving 7 hours, preaching, and all of his sermon-prep. With a Master's Degree. Ouch.) We were talking to some friends yesterday about how God opens and closes doors differently for everyone. They were saying it always seems to them that God opens several doors, only to close all but one of them, and they are left with the 1 option, which is what God has for them. And we were saying, it always works out for us like this: God opens NO doors (visibly) until the VERY last second, at which time he opens only one, and that's what we take. This is how its always worked out for us. We are still waiting for that one door to open. Its kind of stressful. We are thankful to know that God is sovereign, and He has always provided for His people. We surely appreciate prayers.

I'm still going to La Leche League every month. I still love it. Can you tell that I've found one of my life's passions? Learning about and helping others breastfeed their babies. Such a miracle from God.

Wow. I did it. I updated the blog. Amazing.