Yes, we're alive

Wow, its been a while!

I apologize in advance for the serious run-ons, punctuation errors, spelling errors and many ellipses, etc that you’re about to see.

As you can imagine (or not only imagine, as most of you have been there done that), life with a baby is crazy/busy. I don't really feel like I have time to post on here. Or rather, there is always something else to be done, and I usually feel too guilty to take the time to think about updating the blog because everything else continues to pile up. And when i am sitting down at the computer, it is usually when Oliver is needing to be held (which is quite a bit, still), and that just isn't conducive to typing, but rather, browsing/surfing/reading online, etc...things that don't require much typing.

Lets try to recap, shall we?

Disclaimer, below is the rated PG version of Oliver's birthday. Nothing too graphic, but if you're a man, you might just want to skip over this part.

Oliver was born Wednesday 5/6/09. The short version (actually, not short at all) of the story goes like this: I woke up in the middle of the night 9 days before Oliver's estimated due date and heard our cat (outdoor cat for rodent control since we live in the middle of farming fields) making strange noises, and I wondered if she was having babies since Andrew thought she was pregnant. A couple/few hours later, at 6:30 AM, I got up to make one of my 50 million nightly pregnancy bathroom trips. I got back in bed afterwards, was getting all adjusted with my pillows, and I felt a gush. I was like "OH MY GOODNESS," and flipped on the light real quick. Andrew says, "What are you doing?" I say, "I think my water just broke!" and he says "Does that require turning the light on?!" (gotta love Andrew for coming up with this one. hehe) and I'm like, "YES!!!!!!" Soooooooo...I wasn't really sure that my water broke for sure (because I've never done this before) and I thought, 'Oh dear me...what If I've tinkled on myself (it happens to pregnant women sometimes, you know).' So I waddled/ran into the bathroom again, trying not to get anything on the floor on the way and proceeded to somehow break the toilet seat when I sat on it. Hahaha...So after a while (I'll spare you further details), I figured out, it definitely had to be my water breaking. By this point, Andrew was up, starting to get stuff done, just in case, and I let him know THIS WAS IT! IT IS GO TIME! (I didn't say that.) So I sit there and call the dr's office and get the after hour's number, and call the person who takes the after hours calls. I left a VM for her to call me back, letting her know what had happened. I knew they were going to want me to come in, anyway, but I knew I needed to let them know what was happening. Then I called Carol Ann, our doula (plug for hiring a doula/hiring Carol Ann if you're in the Jackson area!) and let her know what was going on. Then I called Frenchie and told her we were hopefully having a baby today. Around this time, we started having THE storm of the spring. It started raining and got progressively worse. I took a shower and started getting ready. I wanted Andrew to update on FB what was happening, but we realized our satellite internet was out, due to the storm. While I'm getting ready, Andrew is packing up the car with our one million bags and items to take to the hospital, and all of Bruce's (our dog) stuff. We had made a list of last-minute items we needed to make sure we had, and it was saved on the computer. Except around this point, the storm got so bad THE POWER WENT OUT. oh yes. So we're trying to figure out what was on the list so we didn't forget anything. And Andrew has to come into the bathroom, shining the mag lite on me so that I could see to do my makeup and hair (yes, I did this). Eventually, it started to get light out enough so that I could see to finish getting ready with no holding of the mag lite. Meanwhile, Andrew is coming to the door of the bathroom every 2 minutes (Andrew doesn't remember it quite this way, but this is what it felt like to me, and its funny), to frantically ask me if I'm ready yet. (We did still have another 1.5 hrs drive into Jackson and still had to drop Bruce off and get some food before going to the dr's office.) About the 10th time, I informed him that if he did not calm down, I was going to start panicking, and this was not the day for me getting all upset. So finally, probably about 8 am or so (give or take), we were both ready to go. As I'm walking out the door, I notice that Delilah has indeed, had a kitten. At this point, Andrew is pretty much willing me into the car with the whooshing of his arms (the car is running, door is open, etc), but I bend down to look at the newborn kitten. Andrew was all, "DENA. THIS IS NOT THE TIME. GET IN THE CAR!" hehe. such fun memories, looking back. Later, when Oliver was born, I held him for the first time and explained to him that he had had a very busy day: Delilah had a kitten, mama broke the toilet seat, and the power went out in the biggest storm we had seen since moving to Tchula, all while he was trying to come out into the world. So we drive to Jackson, and I make approximately 49 phone calls to family, friends, and members of the church. It was especially fun calling Bubby and Mom and Dad. Each of their reactions was so true to their individual personalities and was just so fun. Bub and Mom and Dad headed down this direction a bit after I called and let them know things were happening. At this point, I was only feeling mildly crampy, nothing I considered true contractions at that point. So we dropped Bruce off at Buddy and Frenchie's and then went to Burger King for breakfast. My entire pregnancy, one of my hang ups was the fact that I knew I was not going to be allowed to eat once I was admitted to the hospital, until Oliver was born. I generally do not do well at all with the whole no eating thing, so I was determined to fill up before checking into the hospital. (I did not regret doing so later). We went to the dr's office, and by this point, I was having some pretty serious crampy type feelings. Dr. Bush was able to see me pretty much immediately, and she said that I had a tiny bit of water left, and that she'd break the rest of it once I got checked into my hospital room. I think I was 2 cms dilated when she checked me. So we went downstairs and got all checked in. We signed some papers at the desk, and at this point, I was "dancing" (as the nurse told me) with the crampy type feelings, (which were contractions, but I had never done this before, and at this time they felt like pretty serious cramps). Got into my room and into a gown. Its kind of amazing, because from that point on, things just took off. I am SO glad we got to the hospital when we did, even though I had wanted to be able to labor as long as possible at Buddy and Frenchie's....I can not imagine getting into a car and dealing with the contractions that started coming. Our nurse, Suzanne, was pretty much amazing. She was like a second doula. She was right by our side, almost constantly. Shortly after checking in, (which was at 10 something or 11 something, I guess, she was like "Uhhhh...have you called Carol Ann yet?" "No." "I think you should." (I'm so glad she sensed I was going to need the support, and not a minute too soon.) Yada Yada Yada, contraction, contraction, contraction..... Things went from feeling zeroish to 60 MPH in the blink of an eye, it was pretty overwhelming. I was going to try to walk with my labor as much as possible, to work with it and help labor do its thing as efficiently as possible. By the time Carol Ann got there, I was in serious serious pain. I had horrendous back labor. HORRENDOUS. When a contraction would hit, I would just hang off of Andrew. I think when Carol Ann got there, which was soon (I couldn't even greet her, I was at that point in labor), I was on my hands and knees in bed. Then I stood up for a while longer and swayed and dipped down with the contractions, and Carol Ann supported my weight from the back while I leaned over the bed a little. The pressure in my back and bottom was just amazing (in a not good way). I kept telling them I felt like my bones were exploding. Thats really what it felt like..Except, it was like a contained explosion, where the full force is there, but there is no place for it to explode to...if you can imagine that. (If you've had back labor, you don't have to imagine it!) I got to a point where my legs gave out, and I had to lay down...except laying down even hurt. Everything hurt. Really bad. But the least painful thing, I guess, was laying on my side, holding onto the bed rail for dear life during a contraction, and laying in exhaustion for the few seconds between contractions. My intent was to try to have a natural birth with no meds, but I was asking for help (for some meds of some sort). Andrew, Carol Ann and Suzanne did their best coaching and encouraging to talk me through contractions without meds...Finally, they gave me a small dose of Stadol....oh sweet relief (comparatively.) It only lasts about 20 minutes or so, and it doesn't take the pain away, but you just feel too intoxicated to care as much, kind of...it relaxed me enough between contractions to where I'd kind of go in a sleepy haze...but definitely not enough time to actually sleep....My contractions felt like they never fully went away in between contractions...there was just less pain or more pain. I ended up having three small doses of Stadol over the period of a few/several hours, I'd guess (I have no sense of time during all of this). I was very hot and was thankful we brought a little fan with us. Later I found out (each room has its own temp. control), they had the temp turned down so low for me, that Carol Ann, Andrew and the nurses, etc were FREEZING....I had no idea...I was steaming sweating hot. Sometime in here, Dr. Bush came in and broke the rest of my water, and had me push (I had no idea they would have you do this) to try to dilate a bit more. Oh, the pain. After that, I was like "I don't want to push anymore (until its time for him to be born)!" More labor, more pain, more weepy Dena, asking for help. Every time I'd start crying, they'd encourage me not to cry because they knew I was going to work myself up and it was going to make it hurt more. Oh, it was so hard not to cry. But I realized, too, that I didn't have the energy to put into crying, I needed all the energy my body could muster into just getting through the contractions. Crying and having contractions was horrible. It was like a vicious cycle. Oh, the pain, I need to cry. But crying makes it hurt more. Hurting more makes me cry. Ai ai ai. Heather and Traci came by and I couldn't see them because I was in too much pain and the thought of them coming in the room was too overwhelming for me. They got to see Andrew for a min. in the hall, though. So sweet of them to drive all the way to Jackson. Then I started dry heaving at 6 Cms. That was fun. (Not.) But I know it helped me dilate more! Then I stalled at 7 Cms for several/a few hours, I think (again, no real sense of time, here.) They started me on Pitocin at this time, even though I was adamant I didn’t want it, they were convinced I had to have it (still don’t know all the details of this, I was so out of it.) Eventually, I was serious enough about having the epidural, which coincided very closely with the start of the Pit. I just couldn't do it anymore. Someone, I don't remember if it was Andrew or Carol Ann or Suzanne, told me, "Listen to me, Dena, (something or other about keep going, you're doing great, you don't have to have the epidural)," and I weepily told whoever it was, "No YOU listen to ME: I am in serious pain and I need help, and I'm NOT kidding." They kept asking me if I was sure I wanted the epidural, and I kept saying yes, so they called the man to come do the epidural, but first, Suzanne, while trying to talk me out of it told me that in order for him to administer the epi., I was going to have to sit on the edge of the bed, and I couldn't sit on my bottom let alone sit still enough for the epidural. I kind of panicked when she told me this and told her, "NO. I KNOW they can do the epidural with me laying on my side. Don't tell me he can't do it. I know they can do it that way!" And then she told me he was going to come in and he'd have to check out my back (I don't fully understand this) to see if he'd be able to do it with me laying on my side or not. I remember them telling me it was going to take him a little bit to get down to the room once he was paged, but honestly, it felt like he was there almost immediately. When he did the epidural (with me laying on my side, yay!), Suzanne was with me, and Carol Ann and Andrew were required to leave the room, of course. There was relief almost immediately. Now, I don't know if the epidural just didn't take completely, or if it worked kind of perfectly, or what, because everyone has different stories of the feelings associated with the epidural, but let me just say, I LOVED my epidural. All it did was knock out the majority of the back labor. Everything else, I could feel. I felt contractions, I felt my legs and toes and had pretty good control over them, I could feel my legs, etc, being touched. Some people want to feel completely numb with an epidural, but this was actually one of my fears -- that I'd be so numb, I wouldn't be able to give birth. But for me, it worked out perfectly. Something else I think is cool is the fact that Dr. Bush was working that day (she only works the dr’s office certain days) AND she happened to be on call that night. So when office hours were over, she came to my room and pretty much just hung out with us during a lot of my labor. Its pretty rare to get to have that happen, and especially to have it work out where your dr. happens to end up being the one on-call. I really love Dr. Bush, so this was great for me. Back to the epi- Andrew thinks I got the epi. around 9 PM. Its like having the epidural "unstalled" my progress and allowed my body to relax enough to finish dilating. I am very blessed to have had it work out this way. I was able to talk during contractions and even talked on the phone during the end of labor! I was able to catch my breath before the big finish. I didn’t sleep or doze or anything, I just wasn’t getting exhausted with each contraction. Then it was time for Oliver to come out. I honestly don’t remember being told the time had come. I just remember it was somehow time, and the room filled with about 12 people (no I’m not kidding), and it was lights (dropping out of the ceiling), cameras (after he was born), and action. Yes, I was thankful for the epidural, but as I stated, I could still feel everything. So it was still very painful. I just didn’t have the all-encompassing back-labor like I’d had. I’ll skip all the details of this whole part (I’m sure you’re glad). Finally, he was born at 11:26 PM that same night. Funny thing, friends and family guessed his due date about 3-4 weeks before he was due, and Andrew guessed his due date correctly! Even though he was born 9 days early! Pretty cool. I remember looking at the clock between pushes and thinking if I didn’t hurry things up, Laine would be the correct due-date guesser, not Andrew. Ha. So he was born, and it was wonderful. Everyone said my belly never looked as huge as one would expect, and the sonographer guessed he was in the 40th %tile, but let me tell you, this little boy came out shocking ALL of us in the room, being 8 lbs and 4 ounces NINE DAYS before his due date. Yikes! We were all like, “WHAT?!” What a big boy he ended up being, the little trickster! I thought I would cry when he was born, but I didn’t at all, which really surprised me. I thought Andrew would cry, too, but he didn’t – although he says he got teary eyed. So they got him mostly cleaned off and put a dipe on him and his bracelets and wrapped him in a blanket and I got to nurse him when he was just minutes old. What a precious thing how God has worked it out to be so. It is amazing, with the help of our doula, she had us unwrap his blanket so he was skin to skin with me, we layed him vertical in the middle of my belly and chest, and he literally wiggled like a worm toward his food source! How amazing that a newborn baby has an instinct put in them by God to do such a thing! It was so sweet and just plain incredible. Then Andrew got to hold his son for the first time – the first baby he had EVER held. It was wonderful to watch him hold our baby for the first time! Within probably 30 mins or so, I was able to walk to the bathroom. Did I mention how fantastic I think my epidural experience was? Such a blessing. We had previously put in for a private transition (the first 4 hrs after birth, baby is closely monitored and has some routine things done, which is normally done in the nursery), so we had an incredible private transition nurse in our room with us doing all the normal things with Oliver so we could stay together. It was FANTASTIC. We got several great video clips of this. Within 1.5 – 2.5 hours, I’d say, Mom and Bubby showed up (between mom, dad and bub, there were 2 vehicles, and dad drove straight to Tchula to our house to hold down the fort and check on the power – it was still out!!!). You’ve never seen such an excited and proud Grandma and Uncle!!!! It was neat to get to have them there so soon after he was born, while we were still in the Labor/Delivery room and they were still doing private transition with Oliver. An hour or so later, I got moved to my post-partum room, and Oliver was taken to the nursery for the final wrap up of things. He was returned to my room about an hour later. It worked out so well. I’m so thankful we had the option of requesting a private transition so baby didn’t have to be away for so long! We roomed in the whole time (this was important to me, I know a lot of people think this is nuts). I literally slept maybe ½ hour that night (for various reasons). Thursday was full of the usual stuff – visitors, paperwork, seeing lots of drs and nurses checking on me and Oliver and telling us stuff – and we left for home Friday afternoon.

Dad and Bubby stayed just under a week and mom ended up staying one day short of 3 weeks. She was going to stay 2 weeks, but I was so exhausted and non-functioning she stayed an extra week. I seriously don’t know what I would have done without her. We also were provided meals every few days or so for better than a couple weeks by church members. Also, so wonderful. When Oliver was 2 weeks old, I found out we both had Thrush and I had staff infection from nursing (this was horrific). We found this out after finally going to the MS Breastfeeding Medical Clinic (I pretty much love them up there, now…I wouldn’t still be nursing if it weren’t for them). These infections were probably contributing greatly to some of the extreme exhaustion I was feeling, since I was in such severe pain, Oliver was in pain from having the infection, and was consequently not sleeping hardly at all, so neither was I, etc etc, etc and we didn’t know something was truly wrong with us until he was 16 days old and saw Dr. Saenz. I am actually still battling problems with it, would you believe that? I’ve taken antibiotics and done all sorts of things, and so has Oliver. But NOTHING like it was at first. I am nearly healed up, its just taking forever (I hear this is normal for such infections). At the height of the infections/pain/before/right after going to the doctor, it was so bad, I felt like I was going to pass out sometimes and I’d scream and cry my eyes out and totally freak out when I nursed. It was REALLY bad. I know it was God sustaining me through that, because there is no way I could have handled that from my own will. I am SO thankful for the Breastfeeding Clinic and the ministry (I see it as this) they have to women to help them with related issues.

Ok, so first three weeks were pretty much ridiculously rough, and I was beyond exhausted. First two months, I couldn’t get anything done hardly because I’d barely get started on something and Oliver would need to be held, or else he’d cry like a banshee – (I’m not talking just fussy, I’m talking, no one in their right mind would let their kid cry like this). So I held him a lot. And got hardly anything done. But that’s ok. Traci came and cleaned one time while I took a nap with Oliver. It was glorious. I could kiss her feet. She’d be totally grossed out if she knows I said that. Hee hee. Debra (Andrew’s mom) came to visit when he was 5-6 weeks old. She helped a lot. She stayed for 2 weeks. Then Melissa (Andrew’s sister) came for a week right before he turned 2 months old. She helped a lot, too. Then, he turned 2 months old, and it was like a switch was flipped and he was a lot more content, and I was able to start getting things done in better chunks. Its still not easy, and he has worse days than others, of course…but….its much better, now.

This is fun (not): we found out Oliver is highly allergic to baby wipes, after not knowing what was causing the yeast infections and chemical burns (literally, chemical burns) on his bottom, we finally figured it out after a few weeks of him having the problem and trying 5 or 6 prescriptions….I feel HORRIBLE that every time I changed his diaper and wiped his little bottom with a diaper wipe, I was making it worse instead of better. It only got better when Debra was here and she suggested using just water on washcloths since the wipes would probably not feel as good as just water and cloth, not suggesting it because she thought he was allergic to the wipes (I guess my mom had suggested stopping the wipes way back, and I dismissed it absentmindedly since we were using they hypoallergenic/sensitive/dermatologist recommended/alchy-free wipes). So we used washrags for about a week during one of the prescription diaper creams, and it cleared up completely! So I thought it was the prescription that worked! So I started using wipes again, and do you know the yeast infection started coming back?! So I KNEW it has to be the wipes-hes allergic to all those chemicals! So now we use only water on washrags and you have never seen a healthier baby bottom! Amazing! Poor little guy! Oh, my heart breaks to think what I was doing to him! Then, a week or 2 ago, I suspected he was allergic, also, to babh wash, since a little bumpy rash he’d had for weeks at the top of his back started to spread and get worse and start to look a little like the yeast infection when it had begun on his rear end. So then went my hunt for something super sensitive and chemical-free to bathe him with. Enter California Baby Products. Oh wow, I am such a fan, now. This little guy, with the most sensitive skin on the planet is doing great with the Cali. Baby wash/shampoo! So THANKFUL!!!! Aaaaannnd…just realized he must also be allergic to sunscreen (your run of the mill kind with the usual chemicals), so I plan to pick up some Cali. Baby sunscreen soon, as well to try it on him.

So, In my run down of the (almost) first three months of his life, I’ve mentioned all the bad things, just to let you know what has been adding to the craziness…But our precious baby boy, this gift from God is so so so worth it, and we have had such sweet times enjoying our baby. We love him so much. So don’t think I’m all depressed or something. Just wanted to let you know what has been up, so to speak.

Lets see. He is thriving and growing very well. He is big and tall for his age (shocking to me, since Andrew nor I are particularly tall or big). Hes now wearing mostly 3-6 m. clothes, with a few flat out 6 m. pieces and a few 0-3 m. pieces that still fit him. He grows out of things so fast. Its amazing. He’s got to weigh close to 14 lbs now.

Other fun highlights:
He smiled at 6 weeks. We had a family photoshoot with Erin Fults when he was 7 weeks. He loves to stare at ceiling air vents and fans. Hehe. He smiles at me when I come to his crib or when he sees us for the first time after a nap or after “playing” by himself for a while. he loves looking at his “friends” on his swing mobile – they make him laugh. He is just so stinkin cute.

Pictures to follow. Ha. Maybe. Someday.